20

Today is December 24th, which is also the day before the much anticipated holiday, "Christmas".

I'm not excited so much for Christmas as I am for New Years.

A lot has happened this past 2009, and I'm ready to remember it, and to move on.

What has happened? Lots.

Let's start from the beginning.

January 2009-

-I befriended what would be a best friend.

-I pierced a body part.

-My Dad found out he had prostate cancer.

February 2009-

-I turned 19.

-I broke up with my girlfriend.

-I consequently lost my best friend.

-Lent 2009.

March 2009-

-I saw Paul Baribeau, and Good Luck, twice.

-I traveled from Orlando to Tampa all by myself, by way of train track.

-I camped.

April 2009-

-Panic attacks at UCF ceasing

-Spirituality increasing

-Home visits more frequent

May 2009-

-Started job at Starbucks

-Saw someone I've known for 19 years get married.

-Quality time at Apollo Beach.

June 2009-

-Practically matchmade two of my best friends.

-Practically acted like a douche about it.

-Substance, only.

July 2009-

-Car breaks down every week. I've had the car for years. First car.

-Lonely, nostalgic. Heavily.

-Go to Ginny Springs!

August 2009-

-Hello, North Carolina. I'm marrying you. Vacation.

-Goodbye Angelina, Jack, Audrey, Caleb, Clark.

-First depression/panic attack.

September 2009-

-School starts, work is beautiful.

-Read Precious.

-CCM Retreat, feeling airy.

October 2009-

-Everything costs so much.

-I miss everyone still.

-Halloween party.

November 2009-

-Start disposable camera journey (thx M.B.)

-Closure

-Thanksgiving, also, I work.

December 2009-

-Heavy need to leave elsewhere, like NYC, or Paris.

-Begin to teach thyself French.

-Last cigarette.

-New Years officially replaces Halloween as 'favorite secular holiday'.

That's pretty much it.

This year has been one of the hardest years of my life, and I guess that makes sense.

Although now I am slightly nauseous, and still ill from the flu, I feel like this was completely worth it.

Every phone call, every relationship, every bad word, every cigarette.

Totally worth it.

2009, you've been truly a blessing in disguise. I would have never thought I would be so upset to see you go, but, I know that you were indeed worth it.

2010, you better have something crazy.

19

I believe I had a meeting with death tonight.

I am in no way good with Him, at all. Lucy, my pet, was sleeping on her bed and she didn't wake when I came in the door today. She's getting old.

We give her pills to soothe her arthritic hips, also I assume include some sort of calmer.

Moving on, I realized that things do end, and people (and things) die.

What a terrible thing to acknowledge, yes? Someone should have given me a lecture, or a children's book explaining death, in a comforting and quick way.

I could only imagine if someone I knew, whom I was close to, died.

To date, the only people in my circles who have passed include:

-Great-Grandma Alpen

-Great-Grandpa Spencer

-Great-Grandma Spencer

-'Aunt' Thelma

-My cousin Michael

-Grandpa Dodenhoff

-my first dog, Samantha

Of this list, I was not of age to fully realize and accept the definition of death.

I remember my mother and dad crying hysterically when my cousin, Michael died, but that's it, really.

With this said, I have no idea how I am to carry on as a reasonable human being, with the thought of death fears me.

Not my personal death (at that time, I will not be aware of the earth, but rather the other world).

I can't deal with death with those around me.

One of my best friends lost his dad years ago, but reluctantly, regained him by some freak miracle. A 'near-death' experience.

But, it was like this...

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELI

FELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFE

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELI

FELIFELIFELIFELIFELI

deathdeathdeathdeathdea

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFE (ect.)

Completely surreal, and miraculous, really. I give both of them, and their families major thoughts.

I have no idea how much of a rollercoaster that would have been.

Speaking of death, and my original thought, I don't know what I'm going to do with my dog.

I think I'm going to start walking her everyday, and possibly sleeping on the floor with her.

Of course, when it happens, which it will, I will carry on.

It kind of sucks being human, and having to realize, devastate, move on, carry on.

Why can't we be animals, who, move on blindly without thinking of the days when you with with them.

Of when you laughed with them.

Ect.

My heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone(s).

And to the families of 9/11.

And to the families of all wars.

And to mothers who see their children go before them.

And everyone who is suffering.

Amen.

18

God bless you Mary Travers.

Let me just say the impact you have had on me.

Going back to my first memories, I can remember my mom singing to me songs like, "If I Had a Hammer", "Puff the Magic Dragon", and "Blowin' in the Wind".

For that reason, I connect those memories with your band, Peter, Paul, and Mary.

In short, every memory I have with you is pleasant to say the least.

On another hand, music is the power behind good. You can scream about love, peace, and freedom and it changes people. It has the power to heal hearts, to empower minds, and to put forth action.

And you were part of that movement.

On two points I would like to thank you for what you did.

love

9/16/09

17

I'm just so glad that the View is back on TV.

With the combination of afternoon school, a membership to the YMCA, and this, it couldn't get any better.

Well, of course it could. I need to spend less money. 

I'm not liking money right now, and I don't think that particular idea is new.

On a more disgusting, unhygienic note, I washed my hair last night.

I used to fear shampoos and conditioners, mostly shampoos. I did not like the feeling and overall appearance washing hair gives. It's big, it's poofy, it's nasty.

I managed to wash it, and it not explode. I was grateful.

Also, it's a lot less nasty.

In addition to adding something to my hygiene, I also met up with someone from my past. THIS PERSON IS SHELLY HUNSUCKER. SHE MADE ME LIKE READING AGAIN. IN MY SENIOR YEAR, I TOOK A CONTEMPORARY LIT CLASS IN WHICH SHE FORCED ME TO READ THE HANDMAID'S TALE BY MARGARET ATWOOD.

THIS IS A FASCINATING BOOK AND I RECOMMEND ANYONE READING IT. 

ANYWAYS, I CAME TO HER WITH EVERYTHING AND SHE DID A GOOD JOB CLEARING THINGS UP.

SHOUT OUT TO S. HUNSUCKER. HOW YOU DOIN'? ***

I am really glad that I was able to talk to her about my future, and she gave me constructive criticism.

This post is terribly topic-less.

Ugh. I feel like I am posting an extended update on Twitter.

I am a teenage girl.

On that note, here I am, as a teenager.

And on that note, I'm making new music. 

Less angst, more talent.

There it about 12 new ones up in this head of mine.

HOLD YOUR HORSES

love

16

I am being comforted by the sounds of the television in the next room, where my mother is watching a program.

The reason this gives me peace is because I know that she is in there, while I am in here. It's that simple. 

She will not come into the living room (where I am) and ask me "What's going on?" or, "How was your day?", when she really might worry whether or not I'm alright, or depressed; more or less, 'out of it'.

I do love her.

What I don't really love is the amount of money I spent today. I don't like myself for that. 

I finally got around to paying for my broken computer screen today and although I had a lovely time driving around greater Tampa by myself, I dropped off $306.45 at the Screw Box, a local Mac repair shop. 

I'm glad it's working. But.

I'm also paying for:

-a child in Uganda, of which I have yet to begin contact with, that I might have to cancel, (as cold hearted as that sounds) $38/month

-tuition (roughly $1,000 dollars this semester, due to the miscommunication of my scholarship and my school)

- gas money ($60 a month, in a car with no air conditioning)

-clothes ($50 for this jacket, which at the actual store is $69, so that I can justify... file:///Users/matthewdodenhoff/Pictures/iPhoto%20Library/Originals/2009/Aug%2012,%202009/Picture%2021.png

I just don't know. I'm tired of this money thing. I don't think I can buy anything for a while, seeing as how my checking is around $100 right now, and my savings in half of that.

As Kimya Dawson once said...

'Everything is crumbling around me

Why does everything cost so much money

Could somebody please help out my family?'

That is how I feel today.

Aside from that, I had had a wonderful morning. I opened and I had a really good time. I really enjoy what I do there and although sometimes I deal with complete assholes, it's alright.

Honestly, it's ALRIGHT.

I'm doing good right now. Family vacation is around the corner, my body image/self-esteem is high, and like always, congestion is plaguing my nasal cavity. 

All in all, it's alright.

I also went to Urban Outfitters today. I don't see why it's so much money.

And I don't know why they have shirts that say 'socialist' on them. What's so bad about capitalism? Can somebody please tell me?

I guess I'm stupid, or maybe I don't listen to NPR as much as I used to.

Anyways, everytime I go into that store, it seems like I'm the only one. That's frustrating. Why? Because the focus is on you, and I get an overwhelming feeling that I need to buy something, just so the people who work there can keep their jobs. 

Totally irrational. 

But that's the point.

$16 for a shirt I can get at WalMart for $4, or even cheaper if I made it myself.

Maybe I should start making my own clothes. 

I don't see a problem in that. 

This song can easily make me cry, any day, anytime. 

15

I mostly have no focus to write today. I did clean my room, so I believe that's worth explaining. 

I COMPLETELY cleaned out my closet. It is worth it. And my bookcase? Organized.

All that's left is my bed. Not really my bed, just the pile of things that I managed to put on my bed during the cleansing process.

Things like notebooks, picture frames, and pencils can be found there.

Also, my bed is not made, so that grosses me out a little.

My parents came home today and I swear I love them. I wanted them back bad this weekend. But they came back and it seemed like they were tired (which they were), thus, conversation was sparse.

I hope all is well.

Ipod Roulette fye

1.They are Night Zombies!!! They are Neighbors! They Have Come Back From The Dead!!! - Sufjan Stevens

-This song reminds me of the area of time when I first got into Sufjan, probably about three or four years ago. For some reason, I think of fish fries.

2.I Don't Blame You - Cat Power

-The first time I heard this song, I believe I was in my room in Orlando.

3.The Queen's Approach - The Decemberists

4.Tree Tops - Eisley

5.Man On Fire - Good Luck

-All this song reminds me of is:

|Cigarettes

|Whore-lando

|Driving

|Parking Garages

|Practically crying almost every night, not liking where I was.

6.Paper Planes - M.I.A.

-Shoot. I liked M.I.A. before Pineapple Express.

7.Moving On - Kimya Dawson

- I like the fact that Vanessa Carlton sings backup on this song.

8.Sailor Song - Regina Spektor

9. Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill

- This song reminds me of church for some reason, like summertime church, time.

10. Masochist - Ingrid Michealson

14

Today should have been a Monday. I don't remember last Monday very well, but I believe since it was not worth remembering, that it was not terrible. 

Today wasn't 'terrible'. Actually it was. Terrible has two (probably more, but to my recollection, two) definitions.

1). Terrible- severe; pain, anguish

2.) Terrible- formidably great, extravagant cause.

So it was both examples. It was 'terrible', parse. It was.

I started out actually last night when I was denied this coming weekend's camping trip. And then, I woke up to about 5 missed calls and two voice mails, one of which concerning my mullet and me grooming it, all from my work.

I remember reading and writing down on my little work schedule paper that I worked at 3:30 PM today. Unfortunately, I was mistaken. I was entitled to the 7:00 AM shift. 

Anyways, I woke up naturally I think around 8 AM and came to and called the store, realizing I was nearly one hour late for work. I pulled on my pants and ran out that door, only to run through two red lights and go at least an average of 15 over the speed limit to get to work in about 20 minutes. I clocked in and felt utter embarrassment and terrible humility.

I believe this is a good time to inform you or bring it to my attention again that one of my most terrible (definition 1) phobias and fears is the scenario of being late for work.

Tardiness in all other cases (dinners with friends, social gatherings, church) I can get over and feel confident about myself.

Tardiness in (concerts, movies, and) work settings makes me sick. 

Today as I was driving I teared up and prayed to the God that I could make it through. Anyway, everything turned out fine and it turned out to be a really good day.

I even purchased Pride and Prejudice for THREE DOLLARS. Not just a lousy copy, but a small compact issue with a small biography of Jane Austen! Plus, I bought a copy of Ethan Frome and Summer by Edith Wharton.

EXCITED

plus, I picked up a Moleskine agenda planner (weekly) to hopefully prevent any more mishaps concerning my work.

From now on, I am a punctual, proficient, Proletariat. 

Wonderful.

13

I don't know how I survived my first year of college. At all.

By 'first year...', I mean my dorm room. I've never shared anything more than a bathroom and house with my parents, but then again, I was born into my family. They are all I can remember. I wasn't submitted into an online database which paired myself and my roommate with two other randoms. 

I can remember the first, and mainly, only conversation I had with my suite mates. 

"Alright, I wake up at 9, ____ wakes up at 930. I get first dibs on shower, then him".

I've never shared much more than a pencil which such a territorial human since school, and it took me quite a shock.

I can also remember other times when I would be using the restroom and a shrill and harsh pounding would overcome the bathroom tiles, expecting a short reply of my not so timely existence in the bathroom.

I remember frantically unlocking their door when I was finished, and running out of the room, shutting the door behind me silently, trying to hide my tracks, as if I were escaping a massive, angry, hungry prey.

Oh dear. I also remember having the room to myself sometimes and wanting so bad to turn up my music whilst cleaning in the weekend mornings.

It was a shame that I was an early morning riser, at assuming my 'mates' sleep, I would have to clean silently for a good two or three hours.

I was also repressed musically. I felt almost claustrophobic in my room playing my guitar, of God forbid, singing.

It's interesting and provides a nice story to tell people who know my music that all music recorded within the last year span was indeed done in the constraints of my car; quirky if you will.

Regardless, I did enjoy having my own slice of independence, though sharing it with one other took away a lot of it.

What I'm trying to say is that as long as I have some control over my living arrangements for the rest of my life, I will (hopefully) opt for a room to myself, and a roommate who understands me. That is all.

11

I have so many things, and i think it boils down to:

I need to talk to you.

I don't think it's all need though, I believe it's also a little bit of should, and a dash of want.

I'm getting heavy nostalgia, and I can't help it.

It's sometimes pathetic, but other times acceptable. I don't think you can spend a long time cultivating a relationship only to abruptly stop it. 

There's many things I would like to say. 

There's many things I'm not going to say. 

And there's many things I won't say, not because I can't (as in 'I don't feel like it's my place to say _____"), but can't (as in "I don't know how I can correctly form the words to send my message across").

I wish you could understand, as well as me too.

I also wish I could have been more clear in how I spoke, the diction I chose, and the process of how I did it.

But time is time, and time is all around. I can't change how I said things, nor do I want to.

I really would like to talk, and if you're willing, God-willing, I would like to.

On that note, I think I'm better from my day of heavy nostalgia and constant lurking depression.

It's all good (for the most part).

On another note, I had the reoccurring dream AGAIN. This is the second time in two days.

I looked it up and it came up as something like 'repressed sexual energy/depression/lost in myself/depression'.

That's what you get when you dream about being castrated. And trying to get to a hospital, but people run into you time after time again. 

What does my dream mean?

What do my dreams mean?

My goodness, it's late and I must dream. I'm going to write about dreams in my next letter; also, about the day dream I had whilst driving down Nature's Way about a gang killing me.

I swear I'm an upbeat person.

10

I refuse to believe the idea that I just killed a turtle.

I think I did though.

I was mowing the lawn and saw it sitting there, not moving.

I then took a shovel to it and tried to pick it up. Him up. 

His shell was way softer than I thought it would be, like a stack of wet notebook paper on the top of his body.

He started moving and making that God awful sound of nothing more that I can describe as the sound of  small dry things rubbing up against smaller dry things.

His head and neck stretched out so far out, much more than I thought it could. I thought it was very scary how much it emerged. Gross.

Anyways, made the assumption that if I only took it to the wading pool in my backyard, the one the my dog uses, then he would drink water, become saturated, and maybe also eat the tadpoles. 

I scooped him up and the trip across that 50 yards was hell. He squirmed and the noise kept on playing. A few times I felt repulsed by that animal, but finally.

Finally, I let him walk off the shovel into the pool where he started.

At first, I thought he was playing joyfully, "Finally! What a refreshing time! I have been so hot all day today and now I can play! Thank you Matt!"

But then I realized he was what can only be explained in human speak as, "drowning".

Have you ever seen someone's soul 'searching for air'? I have.

Have you ever seen mountains 'breath'? I think I have.

Have you ever seen a turtle 'breath'? Neither have I, until then.

He was 'gasping'. It was really sad. I checked this morning and he's still not away from the place where I took him out of the pool.

I'm naming him Josephine. 

9

 Oh my, you annoy me.

Not you Sarah Palin. I like you. I think that yes, your actions are persuaded by your underlying political motives, I can't stand but liking you. Maybe it's your personality...

Not you Al Gore. Even though I don't really agree with you on a lot. I'm glad you brought light the issue of self-control and the environment, showing human beings that they need to control themselves and PRACTICE SELF CONTROL. I'm also glad that I know enough to understand that your 'truth' isn't so honest. But honestly, I don't care.

Not you crazy racist bigots. I wish you could honestly take a look around and see that the stresses you're putting on yourself are so stupid, and insignificant to the entire road and integrity of humanity.

Not you former Uncle Paul. Even though I had very, very little respect for you (hitting your wife, ignoring your kids, being a lazy douche bag), I still know you have the potential to turn your life around.

Not you Emily Dodenhoff, of whom I have a supreme amount of respect for. Always.

Not you Kimya Dawson, who I think is beautiful.

Not you Mom.

Or Dad.

But YOU. I'm not going to write your name here.

But please know what you're doing, how it annoys me, and how you need to change.

You need to change.

Please.

I will leave you with this quote ladies, from a band I like a lot right now.

Now it's the precious summertime
Hand in pocket
Bright light
Wild Tigers I Have Known
They send me down
Messin' around 

8

I don't know how you can make me so mad.

I don't understand how people can let you down so bad.

Seriously. When you laugh in my face about my convictions, and when you do whatever your heart desires without consequence, it kills me.

It kills me.

I'm past the part where I'm amused about it all, where I want you to fail, but now I can't stand seeing you in this decay.

Both of the problem. It has two parts.

|Problem A:

You told me you wanted to be held accountable and you wanted to be genuine.

I don't know how this is appropriate. 

I've seen this happen with the last one. Come on, you are being 'that guy'.

You also said you didn't want to be a 'douche bag' anymore. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but you're not heading in the right direction. You using, not giving. You need to get a different mindset. You need to grow! You need to be alone! bored!

Yes! It's very important to be bored! You don't know what it's like to be bored! Being isolated is so important! You can grow! 

I know you've had problems in the past with being by yourself, and really getting into depression, but it's imperative you fix this on your own.

I still love you and I hope you can understand that.

|Problem B:

You're not over him.

You're distracting yourself to not deal with it. 

You were on the right track! Until you fell into it.

I know it might be attractive, funny, and you can connect on so many levels, but it also did this exactly for the last one.

Almost like an agenda; get to 'know', share music, share time, get to know family, physical, drop-off.

It's sickening. 

You're being used, but don't tell me I told you.

I love you too. Get through this. Stand up for yourself.

Be honest and realized where you should be.

Be genuine, forget trendy.

7

I am terrible at the art of dealing with conflict.

There is nothing more intense and awkward, knowing that unhappy vibes are directed towards me.

Seriously. 

Because I work at Starbucks, and because I'm apparently on this Earth to please every single soul; which I should, within reason, this makes my job a little, rough.

This is because today, a lady came in and ordered a iced Venti 5 Splenda Shaken Passion Tea Lemonade. 

Before I go further, let me explain that the drink itself is pretty sweet without additional sweeteners; mind you putting an additional 5 packets of genetically modified 'sweetener'.

So I made the drink to the best of my ability counting out 4 instead of 5 Splendas and delivered it on the hand off bar.

I could see the lady sitting on the leather chairs next to the condiment bar and decided to physically deliver it to her; most likely done out of kindness and charity on my part.

"Here you go m'mam, you're iced Venti 4 Splenda Shaken Passion Tea Lemonade!"

"Wait...did you say 4 Splenda?"

"Um... yeah. Was that not right?"

"Goddamnitno! I asked for 5 Splendas!"

-mind you, she's sitting RIGHT next to the condiment bar, where, she could rip open a packet of Splenda and to her pleasure, add that ONE packet of sweetener, but that would be too much.

"Um... would you like me to remake it for you? then?"

"Um, yeah!"

I'm not passing judgement, but good Lord. She was a foot away from the condiment bar. 

Really? 

So I kept her drink, and later drank it knowing I had imperfectly created it, and remade her drink.

With one more Splenda. 

I backed down so quickly, maybe because of company standards ("The customer is always right, JUST SAY YES!!!")

but more realistically, because I can't take conflict.

I can only imagine how I would have reacted as a 'John Smith' or whoever it was that took away the Native American's natural America. I would have probably backed out as soon as they insisted in their indigenous language to reserve their land as THEIR land, probably not letting go of the situation until later that night, while writing a letter or journal entry describing my pain and personal disappointment.

But then again, I love the Native American culture. 

Thank God our forefathers had a backbone.

6

I don't move fast at all.

It takes me a while to gain confidence and fidelity, and I have no problem admitting that.

I understand that everyone moves at different paces, but with that being said, caution must be involved. 

I don't understand why my principles aren't so readily accepted in society and within my loved ones.

I'm looked at for being 'strong' and 'in control of myself'

but really, I just have respect from here to there.

I took that last line from Beth Ditto, who is very different, yet very similar to me.

We both respect. 

I think that's important.

I also think we should all consider each other and respect each other.

I think having fun is fun, but it's important to discern what fun is. 

If you're simply looking into the shallow definition of fun, it's easy to become wishy washy and this can lead to making out.

Making out leads to babies.

I don't know what I'm saying, but I don't know God loves you.

I also know I haven't been praying at all lately.

I also know that I'm not intoxicated. 

I also know that I am rambling.

Good night.

FROM HERE TO THERE

5

Today at work, a girl gave me her number.

Last night I participated in a tarot card reading.

Unfortuantley, I fell into the game and admitted to much to a stranger I knew for in total one hour.

She knows now my life, mostly. At least now.

And I'm 100% okay with that.

Working at Starbucks is good, except for the fact that people think we're super people; that we, ourselves would give up anything to give them pleasure.

Today a women and her daughter pointed at me and laughed.

I was wearing a black polo, and black Dickie shorts. I have no idea what the Hell they could be laughing about.

My hairy legs? My fatty calves? My cheap canvas shoes?

They ordered a tall Caramel Frappacinno and some other thing, of which I can't remember.

Why did they laugh at me? I don't know.

All I know is that I'm making money while they virtually paid to laugh at whatever they were laughing at; and I'm okay with that. I am okay with the fact that they spent some ten dollars on stupid bad-for-you drinks, and I stood there pushing a touch screen computer, sucking money from them.

I must be abnormal, something from a 1940's circus freak show.

Which one would I be? I think probably the Siamese twin. I would love to have another body next to me at all times.

Someone to constantly be with, or spoon in bed... even though I've never spooned, except once (to what I can remember).

Hopefully the Tarot was right and I'm on my way to balancing my life.

Hopefully you could have pieced together that last train of thought that maybe should have been placed textually in the beginning, connected with it's content.

Oh well.

A seed must fall to the ground to become a tree.

4

One of the biggest flaws in my personality is that I'm very submissive. I am much talk, but fail to walk.

I didn't need a tarot reading to tell me that, but  I did anyway.

I still feel in love, and not over it.

Yet, I need to stop this pointless purgatory phase I'm in and figure out what I'm about.

Let's talk.

3

I expect a lot out of people I don't know.

By saying I expect a lot, that's not what I mean. What I mean is that I create their morals and ideologies to fit my perception of their reasons for living.

When I met Corrine, I already had the trivia that she indeed was a mother. When I found out she had similar music tastes as me, I perceived her as being a new thing.

A revolutionary wife.

A revolutionary mother.

A revolutionary girl.

Not saying she isn't, but she is normal. Just how I am normal.

Too often I want to hype things up in my mind to create something real. I crave heartache.

I crave friction. 

I crave hurt.

That's it, that's all I want. 

I want beautiful relationships, and then I want them to die.

Not only to die, but to fall terribly. 

This is unrealistic, but sadly, very much how my mind works. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be content or settled. 

Maybe not content, because 'content' isn't necessarily a terrible thing.

But 'settled', that is something I can't deal with.

I am going to say it now, I want a life.

I WANT A LIFE.

I WANT A WIFE.

I WANT A JOB.

I WANT TO BE A FATHER.

I WANT TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE MY BEST FRIENDS RIGHT NOW BE IN MY WEDDING PARTY.

I want everything to work out fine.

And they will.

2

Today is June 5th, 2009. 

I am looking for Polaroid 600 Film. Unfortuntley, Polaroid is not making any more.

I don't understand. I like that type of picture. I like the fact that it's so easy, fast, and nice. 

I like the product it gives you. Although I am no photographer by any detail, I really appreciate Polaroids.

There's something about it being so fast, and so fuzzy and not perfect appeals to me.

There you go. I want the film to be more affordable and more available. I also want abortion to end. As well as world peace.

And I want everyone to get good sleep. As well as to go to bed happy, safe, and content.

But, like poverty, war, and famine, I must suffer too.

It is good to suffer, and it's good to know what it's like to work for something.

1

Hello! I'm starting today.