19

I believe I had a meeting with death tonight.

I am in no way good with Him, at all. Lucy, my pet, was sleeping on her bed and she didn't wake when I came in the door today. She's getting old.

We give her pills to soothe her arthritic hips, also I assume include some sort of calmer.

Moving on, I realized that things do end, and people (and things) die.

What a terrible thing to acknowledge, yes? Someone should have given me a lecture, or a children's book explaining death, in a comforting and quick way.

I could only imagine if someone I knew, whom I was close to, died.

To date, the only people in my circles who have passed include:

-Great-Grandma Alpen

-Great-Grandpa Spencer

-Great-Grandma Spencer

-'Aunt' Thelma

-My cousin Michael

-Grandpa Dodenhoff

-my first dog, Samantha

Of this list, I was not of age to fully realize and accept the definition of death.

I remember my mother and dad crying hysterically when my cousin, Michael died, but that's it, really.

With this said, I have no idea how I am to carry on as a reasonable human being, with the thought of death fears me.

Not my personal death (at that time, I will not be aware of the earth, but rather the other world).

I can't deal with death with those around me.

One of my best friends lost his dad years ago, but reluctantly, regained him by some freak miracle. A 'near-death' experience.

But, it was like this...

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELI

FELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFE

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELI

FELIFELIFELIFELIFELI

deathdeathdeathdeathdea

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFELIFE (ect.)

Completely surreal, and miraculous, really. I give both of them, and their families major thoughts.

I have no idea how much of a rollercoaster that would have been.

Speaking of death, and my original thought, I don't know what I'm going to do with my dog.

I think I'm going to start walking her everyday, and possibly sleeping on the floor with her.

Of course, when it happens, which it will, I will carry on.

It kind of sucks being human, and having to realize, devastate, move on, carry on.

Why can't we be animals, who, move on blindly without thinking of the days when you with with them.

Of when you laughed with them.

Ect.

My heart goes out to everyone who has lost someone(s).

And to the families of 9/11.

And to the families of all wars.

And to mothers who see their children go before them.

And everyone who is suffering.

Amen.